Sunday, July 11, 2004
Ah the lovely 2 week wait and the neurosis that goes with it
So today makes me 4dpo. Now I know in my head that there is no way I could possibly know at this point whether I am pregnant and will be getting a BFP this month. Even if the sperm and the egg met up the chance of it having implanted this early is extremely small. In my head I know implantation takes place normally within the 6dpo-10dpo window and that's when the HCG starts building and that's what makes you start having pregnancy symptoms. Since I know this, why is it that when something as minor as my breast starting to itch does the phrase "Oh my goodness .. my boob is itching .. is it sore? Am I finally pregnant again???" immediately pop into my head? TTC I think has made me into a hypechondriac, not with illnesses .. but with pregnancy symptoms. And believe me it's not intentional. Because I totally hate the getting excited and hopeful each month only to be greeted by a negative HPT and the followed shortly there after by a visit from my least favorite relative Aunt Flo. My body just can't seem to help itself. Each month it builds me up with these phantom symptoms and against my best intentions I forget everything but the idea of being pregnant again. I feel like this dog an old friend of mine had. About every 6 months or so the dog would go through a fake "pregnancy" and then apparently give birth to imaginary "puppies". We all talked about how crazy the dog was and we would laugh. Now I am starting to be able to imagine how the poor dog felt.