It makes ya wonder

With my track record with guys, it makes you wonder, is it bad luck or bad taste? Or is it a combination of the two. Sometimes it just makes me wonder if there is something just completely screwed up with me that I can't figure out. Or if there is some invisible tattoo on my forehead that only guys can see that say's "Losers, psychos and commitment phobes please apply here."? Makes ya go "hmmm" doesn't it? There are days where I wish I was a lesbian. Unfortunately I just don't swing that way. Considered the whole nun thing ... but black and white just aren't my colors... not to mention the whole not being Catholic thing. I seriously am considering giving up on men all together. UGH. Born again virgin here we come.

The VT massacre has me really shookup.

First of all .. my heart goes out to all the people who lost loved ones and friends in the VT massacre. My heart goes out to all the people who were injured and are recovering now, and the people who weren't injured but were traumatized. It's so awful to think in this day and time that there are still people out there who can reak so much havic and tragedy on innocent people. I know it's devistating to all who hear or read about it.

The part that keeps freaking me out personally is the stuff I heard on one program talking about the charecteristics and warning signs of people who may eventually snap and become one of those people who cause such a tragedy. The reason it was so scary for me is that for 7 years I lived with someone who so many of those warning signs. I was married to him for 5 years and witness all kinds of erratic behavior that leads to me to think that he may at one point become one of those people who is responcible for a tragic loss of life. The week before he and I split up for good he went out and bought a brand new rifle and enough ammo to "wage a war incase anyone decides they don't like the lifestyle I choose to live." those were his words. They have haunted me for a year and a half.

I am so thankful every day that the kids and I are 6 hours away from him and that he has no visitation with the kids. He hasn't seen them in over a year, and I'm incredibly grateful for that fact. Thankfully if his trigger is ever pulled .. there are 6 hours between him and the kids and I.

Update on me

I'm sorry I haven't been around more. Things have been pretty hectic. Skyla turned 2. Man it doesn't seem possible that my baby girl is so grown up. She's potty training herself too, which is a dream since Chip about drove me crazy with trying to get him potty trained.

I started a new quarter at Augusta tech (changed m major to Computer Support Specialist after one of my proffesors came to me the last day of last quarter and told me he wanted me to change to his major) and I am taking 16 credit hours this quarter .. all hard classes that make you really think but I'm enjoying them. My favorite is the webpage class. I'm learning XHTML coding and designing webpages from scratch with just notepad. It's intensive yet rewarding.

I also have the worst sinus infection I've ever had in all of my almost (GASP!) 30 years and I'm currently on 5 meds the Dr. told me to take. It will either cure me or kill me, not sure which end I'm pulling for ... I just need some kind of relief. Trying to get used to that whole 30 term .. maybe by my birthday in July it won't be so staggering.

Also there is a new fella in my life ... but trying to keep it on the down low because I'm scared of jinxing things, since I tend to have the worst luck with men. Keep your fingers crossed that I don't do my reverse princess and the frog trick .. you know the one where I find a prince ... kiss him and he turns into a frog and hops away.